Pinchy would have wanted it that way:
Warming currents have caused Maine Lobsters to shed their shells earlier in the year than usual as seen here. This along with prices as low as 4 dollars a pound due to a surplus of lobsters has hurt New England's lobster fishermen. On the plus side it costs less to take a nice lady out for a lobster dinner. Although if you invested in lobster futures you are now feeling the pinch.
Outsourcing has Gone too Far:
Recently French music duo Daft Punk skipped out on a scheduled appearance on the Colbert Report. In response to this he replaced them and gave a different song the Colbert bump. The replacement was the son the of Canadian Music Royalty. While at first I was glad to see that the French didn't receive the Colbert Bump I soon shuddered when I realized a very dark tend in popular music. The effects of Canadian music on our culture have been dire. Sure there was a day when Canadian music was awesome, While the crafty Canadians lulled us into a false sense of security in the 1970s by the time the 80s rolled around their evil plan started to take shape. We thought it was just an aberration however they continued their attack into the 90s and carried it on into last summer. Obviously we need a border fence but to north not the south. While television has tried to make Canadian Pop Music seem harmless it is in fact so evil that even Satan denies all involvement. Walt Disney's head however could not be reached for comment.
Rapping Mannings?
Peyton and Eli Manning are now rapping in a direct TV ad.
It's good to see that my characterizations of the Manning brothers are still valid
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