Take it away Wayne:
Wayne Fontes
The Preseason is great time of year it allows you to create Quarterback controversies and give your fans a false sense of enthusiasm about the season by going undefeated. Marv Levy never understood that always going winless in the preseason and look how that turned out for Buffalo. I always used to win Preseason games with my backup Quarterbacks and I will go down in history as the Detroit Lions greatest coach.
This weeks NFL preseason action kicks off with Detroit and Cleveland. This is the kind of game I understand. I like what Jim Schwartz has done here with the Lions built a high powered offense around a player who is so much better than anyone else at his position that he cannot be stopped. He also has a physically gifted and under achieving first round draft pick Quarterback who is backed up by a guy who had to go the community college route before becoming a winning Quarterback in the ACC and who would probably give the team better chance to win every week. This is exactly what I would have done if only Dave Levy didn't mouth off at that press conference in 1993.(editors note: Mr. Fontes is referring to when newly named offensive coordinator Dave Levy promoted Erik Kramer from the 3rd to 1st string at a press conference)
As for Cleveland they have Brandon Weeden at Quarterback who will turn 30 in his second season. This that's like having to win with an inexperienced Don Majkowski in 1995. The good thing is that expectations are so low that the coaching staff can easily keep their jobs by just upsetting the Ravens once this year. If there is one thing I know it's that nothing can save your career like defeating the defending Super Bowl Champions.
On Friday I will be turning my attention to the Tampa Bay and New England game. I don't care much for Bill Belichick. Winning Super Bowls with a sixth round draft pick Quarterback who is married to sexy woman (The editorial staff of Grow the Fuck Up still believes that Bridget Moynahan is far better looking than Giselle and fails to understand Mr. Brady's actions in this matter. P.S. Bridget if you are reading this call us) that is not what you are supposed to do. When you draft a Quarterback in the sixth round who has a beautiful wife you are supposed to win just enough games to keep your job. Who wants the kind of pressure of winning championships?
I always have a soft spot for Tampa Bay after all that is where I got my start as an NFL coach and let me tell you good ole Wayne Fontes (pronounced Fotez in this instance) had a lot of fun in that town. I heard that Patriots Tight End Rob Gronkowski bought a house in the area. Gronk seems like Wayne's kind of guy. This game has to be the most important preseason which is why I am personally going to cover the game taking the Grow the Fuck Up corporate jet down to Tampa tonight. (The game is in New England. Also Mr Fontes is flying JetBlue on his own dime ).
On Saturday there is really only one game that matters and that is the New York Jets and Jacksonville. I feel a strong connection with Rex Ryan. The only mistake he made was making it to back to back AFC Championship games early on in his tenure. Getting a franchise like the Jets to a conference title game once a few years into being head coach would guarantee you at least four more years of employment without doing anything. Winning early just places way too much pressure on the coach. I am pulling for Rex this year and I especially like that Sanchez kid. He reminds me a lot of Rodney Peete, throws interceptions and walks over to sideline smiling. Sanchez knows that winning isn't important it's do just enough to keep your job and still being able to go out and have a good time after the game. (Mr. Fontes' link is NSFW and really shouldn't be viewed by anyone)
Well that is it for now the Big Buck will check on Sunday to report on what happened in these games and let you know where I will be heading next.
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